Boxes Vs Books
by How Convenient
Summary: On one of his numerous check-ups on Earth, the Doctor discovers an anonymous argument between aliases he had never heard of before. He decides to investigate. DISCONTINUED. Sorry, I just lost all motivation for it.
1. CheckUps and Arguments

_My first fanfiction! I'm happy now :). Doctor Who/Death Note crossover. I messed with the timeline a bit- L and Light are still chained together, Light still has no memories of Kira but Higuchi is dead and they have Rem and the Death Note. Light just doesn't own it and,after the initial touch, has only handled it with those latex gloves._

_Warnings: Mild yaoi (LightxL), possible bad language, probable slight OOC, bad things happening to Misa and Rem (I hate them both), slight Rory and Matsuda bashing (I like them. L and Light think they're stupid.) and British spelling (for any Americans reading this)_

I don't own Death Note. If I did, I would've destroyed L's mobile in the anime. It ruined the fluffy scene.

I don't own Doctor Who either. It would honestly be pretty similar if I did though, because Steven Moffat is doing a good job of it ATM.

**Check-Ups and Arguments**

When a gothic 'L' appeared on one of the large billboards on a Tokyo skyscraper, the Doctor was mildly curious.

When a sparkly picture with the name 'KIRA' on it appeared on the board opposite, the Doctor was interested.

When they started arguing about percentages, cake, apples, eyes, sleep and handcuffs, he was confused and resolved to investigate, Dalek invasion or not.

Rory and Amy hadn't noticed his fascination and started to carry on without him. They only got a few metres away before Amy's 'Missing Doctor' sensor beeped. She muted it and put it in her bag as she made her way back through the crowds to where the Doctor was.

"Hey, slow coach, where's the hol-… oh…what's that?"

"Back to the TARDIS everyone. I've got some signal tracking to do."

"Wha—" Rory never got to finish his sentence as Amy dragged him to the waiting box.

_In a skyscraper somewhere in Tokyo_

"I still don't understand why you made us do that to communicate. We're chained together, well within hearing range of each other. In fact, isn't that the point of the handcuffs?"

Light was pissed. A) Because he had had to pretend to be Kira again when he was sure he wasn't and B) because Ryuzaki was being a pain and making hem fight on national T.V. (kind of. Anyone could have seen those billboards).

"Light-kun plays the part of Kira very well. I would increase his Kira percentage but if he was Kira he would play the part badly to make me think he was bad at being Kira. In light of this I will have to lower the percentage instead. 4.3%" The shaggy haired detective that said this was sat in his usual position, knees up to his chest, staring at one of many computer screens in front of him.

"Really? Wow, thanks Ryuzaki!" Light's probability of being the mass murderer Kira was very rarely lowered so he was understandably excited. It was 0.7% less but it was 0.7% closer to 0. The teen's control over his body must have lapsed for a moment in his excitement (at least that was the excuse he would use to himself later) as by the time he knew what he was doing, Light's arms were draped over L's shoulders and his lips were retreating from L's cheek. The same cheek Light now swore was less deathly pale than before.

The next words were spoken so quietly that if Light hadn't been so close, he wouldn't have known they'd been spoken, let alone what the words were.

"4.1%"

L then proceeded to snap out of his trance-like state and turn back to the computer he'd only just realised was still broadcasting. He pressed the 'Stop' button before looking at a different monitor.

"Light-kun would probably like to know that everything he just said was picked up by the microphone and transmitted to central Tokyo, probably to my 'L' board."

"I just kissed you live on air?" Light exclaimed, mask slipping again to show his horror and fury.

The skinny man unplugged the microphone (to make sure the transmitting had stopped), seemingly unaware of the brunet Japanese boy staring at him. Suddenly he started and turned around, a look of mock innocence plastered on his face, taking full advantage of his large, dark eyes.

"I'm sorry, was Light-kun expecting an answer?"

A long string of colourful words in various languages passed through Light's mind, bu none got through his internal censor (which was now back in full working order). What did worm its way out however was an amazingly calm sounding "Yes, I did expect an answer. I always do when I ask you a question."

"In that case; Yes, Light-kun did just kiss me live on air."

"Right. Pass me the microphone will you?"

L obliged and Light reached for the nearest pair of scissors, then set about slicing through the wire that connected the microphone to the computer. L didn't stop him. If he did, he was more likely to get punched later in the week. He would automatically retaliate, then a fight would start. L couldn't spare the time that could be spent working. Plus, he was a multi-millionaire. He could buy a new and better microphone. In fact he had several in storage at that very moment.

_Inside the TARDIS_

The Doctor rushed around the console, pressing buttons and pulling levers, seemingly (read: actually) at random. Amy was positioned by the screen, having to constantly duck out of the path of the frantic Time Lord and watch for a location to be pinpointed on the map simultaneously. There could be two signals so she couldn't look out for just one. The argument seemed to suggest that the participants couldn't be more than two metres apart though.

"Found it!" She screeched, after about three minutes of looking.

"Ahh, hang on tight then!" With that, the TARDIS lurched off, automatically heading off to the tracked location. The Doctor was left wondering why tracing the signal took so long. It must have been cleverly masked.

_In a skyscraper somewhere in Tokyo_

The first thing that bombarded Rory's vision as he stepped out of the TARDIS was the light blaring from the bank of computer screen. Next was the chain glinting in said light. He followed the path of the chain and found a pristine brunet teen at one end (his left) and a scruffy, raven-haired man at the other.

"Watari, please turn off whatever sci-fi show you're watching. The sound effects are very annoying and are detrimental to my deductive reasoning."

Light turned around to face where the noise had come from. He froze.

"Uh, Ryuzaki?" he began. "It's not the T.V."

By this time, Amy and the Doctor had emerged from the blue box too and the three time time travellers were currently being stared at by all but one of the room's inhabitants.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor. I'm in—"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Watari? I do not need medical treatment for my sugar addiction, posture or odd ways of thinking." L interrupted. Ever since he started working as a detective Watari had thought that there was something wrong with him. So he was weird; most geniuses were. That's what made them a genius. B killed three people then attempted suicide. He had still been a genius.

The Doctor slowly approached L and stopped when he was just behind him.

"So, what's your name and what can I do for you? You mentioned a sugar addiction. Can you give me any details about that?" If this man thought he was a doctor, he thought he may as well use that cover story, especially considering that this 'Ryuzaki' hadn't seen his entrance. Most of the task force was still in a shocked silence, but Light had come out of his trance and when he saw the Doctor reaching for L's shoulder, he reached out and grabbed his wrist before he could hold it.

"How did you get in here? What are you doing here? Who are you really? 'The Doctor isn't a name, it's an occupation. Oh, and Ryuzaki, turn around. There's a massive blue box in the middle of the headquarters and three strange people have just seen you. Don't you think that that's a cause for concern?"

L did as asked and looked behind him. He then dismissed everything and turned back to a page of data relating to tests run on the recently acquired 'Death Note'.

"Light-kun, we have a killer notebook and a shinigami in our possession. A teleporting box, or whatever you think it is, and three humans do not take priority. They have not killed 10,836 criminals, nor do they have that ability."

"They could've. Have you considered the fact that we still have not caught Kira and one of those three could easily be Kira? They could kill you in an instant if one of them had the eyes." Light was scared now and it was easy to hear in his voice. He wasn't entirely sure why he was scared but he supposed he just didn't want L to die for some undiscovered reason.

"Light-Kun does not have to fear for my safety. These people are too stupid to be Kira."

"What makes you say that?" Amy had decided to join the conversation and was now justifiably irritated.

"They haven't noticed the rifle being aimed at them by Watari." L said smoothly, keeping his customary bored tone.

_I don't mind if you review or not. Rem however... Has decided she will steal one of Ryuk's apples and give it to you if you do._


	2. Guns and Trust

_I messed with the timeline a bit- L and Light are still chained together, Light still has no memories of Kira but Higuchi is dead and they have Rem and the Death Note. Light just doesn't own it and, after the initial touch, has only handled it with those latex gloves._

_Warnings: Mild yaoi (LightxL), possible bad language, probable slight OOC, bad things happening to Misa and Rem (I hate them both), slight Rory and Matsuda bashing (I like them. L and Light think they're stupid.) and British spellings (for any Americans reading this, you'll hate the description of the room later.)_

I don't own Death Note. If I did, Misa would've commited suicide after finding out about L and Light's relationship.

I don't own Doctor Who either. If I did, I would make sure that we got more Sherlock from Moffat.

**Guns and Trust**

"Ah. May I enquire as to why there is a gun aimed at me?" The Doctor began hesitantly.

"This building has the best security of anywhere in the world and Doctor-san somehow manage to waltz into the main investigation room with two accomplices and a large blue box. I am aware that the box claims to be associated with the police, but the NPA abandoned the Kira case long ago. No-one in this room works for them anymore." L replied. He had been faking the thought that the Doctor was an actual doctor to lure him into a more open position, to make it easier for Watari to line up his shot.

"O.K. Very clever. If you could tell…Watari, was it? To put away the gun, I would be very grateful." The Doctor could tell that his negotiation attempt was failing epically just by looking at L.

"Not unless you state your name, occupation, intention and how you got here to sufficient standards." Watari was joining the conversation now.

The Doctor, as always, was the first to comply:

"Uhh, the Doctor, traveller, investigation and via the temporal vortex in a living time/space machine."

Amy was next:

"Amy Pond, traveller, fun and whatever he said."

Then finally Rory:

"Rory _Williams, _husband to her," at this he pointed at Amy, "Don't know about intention. Fun I guess. And whatever he said too."

"I should have added species to the list." L said quietly. His musings were answered with two choruses of 'Human' and one 'Uhh, I can't really tell you that…' The detective easily picked up on the odd one out, but Light beat him to pointing it out.

"What can't you tell us? Seeing as you look like that, there are only really two possible answers; human (which is most likely) or shinigami."

"If those are my options, I guess shinigami is closest." The Doctor hesitantly replied.

"In that case…Watari, take him to the Death Note. Let's see if he knows any more about it than Rem supposedly does."

_In the 'Death Note Room', really just an adjacent room to the main headquarters._

"Judging by the fact you brought us in here, I assume you trust us now." Stated the Doctor, after a moment to take in his surroundings. There were clean, plain, grey walls and the ceiling was embedded with rectangular fluorescent lights. The floor was reflective and, after a period of examination time, the Doctor discovered it was aluminium. Security cameras dotted the room, some vastly more obvious than others. In the centre of the small room was a large, dark grey table, on which a thin, black notebook caould be seen. Even with his intellect, the Doctor could not figure out the reason for the lasers and glass case guarding the book.

"It takes a lot to get me to trust people. It would even without the perils of my job." L replied, blatantly staring at the Doctor, silently evaluating his threat level.

"I can vouch for that." Light chimed in. Everyone turned to him expectantly. Excluding L of course. He already knew what he had done to Light.

"Ryuzaki put me in solitary confinement under constant surveillance for 50 days, got my dad to pretend to threaten to kill me (no mention of Misa, L noted) and now I'm chained to his wrist. After all that he still thinks I'm Kira." Admittedly only 4.1%, but Light didn't mention that.

"Um, stop me if I'm asking a stupid question but, what's Kira?" Rory inquired. "Only, the name was on a billboard we passed. That was what made us come here. To ask about it."

L was ignoring Rory, passing him off as an English Matsuda, and therefore of no more use other than to laugh at when he falls over. Light thought the same, but he was a good enough actor to appear nice. Nicer than L at least.

"Kira is a mass murderer who can kill with a name, a face and that notebook. He only kills criminals and people who obstruct him though. This task force was built to capture Kira." Light hated explaining (most) things to less intelligent people.

"So, you're based in the top floors of this skyscraper then?" Amy asked, not wanting to be left out.

"Haha, no. Ryuzaki had the whole thing built especially for the case. Probably only because he needed permanent accommodation in Japan, but still." Light did like saying that. It made him feel powerful, being friends with someone that rich.

Amy, Rory and the Doctor all turned to look at L, who had managed to procure a lollipop from somewhere and, as such, had to talk around it when answering.

"I am L, therefore I am easily able to pay for a top-security, high-tech skyscraper, complete with helipad, to be built on the outskirts of central Tokyo."

Silence reigned for a while, before it was broken by another question from Rory.

"Who's L?"

Light opened his mouth to answer, but this time the Doctor beat him to it.

"World's best detective. Never works personally; always hides behind cameras, computers and voice distorters."

"And Watari," L added. "He is vital to my work and I will confess to, as you say, 'hiding behind' him."

Light snorted, then shifted closer to Lso he could nudge him with his shoulder.

"Don't forget me Ryuzaki. You hide behind me too. Mostly when there are spiders or thunderstorms involved."

In response, L gave a sharp tug on the chain to show his disapproval. Amy giggled.

"We should carry on with the questioning. I need to see if you, Doctor-san, know any more about the Death Note than Rem did. Before you ask, Rem is another shinigami. You won't be able to see her until you touch the Death Note." With that, L started walking towards the table, inadvertently dragging Light behind him.

"Come on, guys," the Doctor started. "We have a killer book to investigate."

_I don't mind if you review or not. The Master however... Has decided he will give you a laser screwdriver if you do._


End file.
